PUHLEEZ save it bitch.

Shar Jackson went on air recently talking about her horrific break-up from K-Fag. You know she really doesn't even care about Kevin, if it wasn't for him no would know the name Shar Jackson. Save the croc tears for people who care. Plus he did you a fuckin favor...you want that piece of slime leaching off you still? You should be so happy that now you have money for your kids diapers instead of Kevin spending it on cigs and some Potter's Vodka.

Lucious Pusey or Seymour???

Eastern Illinois Panthers
Full Name: Lucious Pusey
Birth Place: Delray Beach, FL
Height: 5-9
Weight: 208 lbs.

Above is a player listed on the roster for the E. Illinois Panthers football team. Our good friend Corinne sent this out b/c she couldn't believe someone's parents would give their child this name. Well, turns out they didn't!

Upon searching for this guy - his name is actually Lucious Seymour, but some witty character over at ESPN where this was posted did some wordsmithing. HAHAHAHAHA. Poor guy, not only does he play for Eastern Illinois, but now his name is forever Lucious Pusey on ESPN!

See the post on ESPN here

Rosie OUTS Oprah!!!

Rosie O'Donnell has used her gay-dar to out TV's most influential woman. She addresses the rumors that Oprah and her BFF Gail are more than just best friends. She states, "You might be a little bit gay, you're just not doin' it," she said of O and G, explaining that an absence of sex wouldn't preclude the pair from sharing in a certain sapphic satisfaction."

OH they are so doing it!!! And you know that poor Stedman is really their butler or sex slave or just their beard...I mean once you are outed on National TV it's over!! Just ask lil Lance and his Boytoy!

Axl Rose being sued

Axl Rose is being sued after he backed out of an art deal. He agreed to pay $2.36 Mill for an Andy Warhol, but only paid $1.21 Mill. His lawyer said he simply doesn't have the money - but also feels he shouldn't have to pay b/c the picture isn't really worth $2.36 Mill.

HAHAHAHAHA! Of course he doesn't think it's worth that b/c he can't afford it! But seriously - what idiot actually does an art deal worth that much with Axl Rose and thinks he's good for the money? You fool!

More on this story here

Three 6 Mafia next up for reality TV

MTV has just announced their newest idea for a reality series - Three 6 Mafia on the road. The show will be called "Adventures in Hollywood". I'm sure there will be plenty of adventures - only we prob won't be able to see or hear any of it for bleeping out and covering up shit that MTV isn't allowed to show...

I gotta stay high I I I I I I I I until I die I I I I I I I
I gotta stay high I I I I I I I I until I die I I I I I I I ....

More on this new reality show here

Jordan Shows off Her Ill-Na-Na

Jordan aka Katie Price aka Katie Andre deicded to give us yet another look at her "world." I really like the heart tattoo above her "world." It's SO classy!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE

We wish you the happiest birthday ever, you sexy bitch!

Foxy Brown Broke?

Rumor has it Foxy Brown aka Inga Marchand, one of best female rappers and my personal favorites, is flat broke. Hopefully she will come out with a new album soon. The fabulousthreesome would totally support a bitch and buy it!

I knew I liked her for a reason...

Kate showing off her jungle fever in the most recent edition of W. I knew she liked her um...shoes...BIG.

Diddy is so intellectual...

In true Puff fashion Diddy has commented on the political turmoil of our country.

"It's just embarassing the kind of ignorance in my man," said Diddy, who now refers to the commander-in-chief on a posse-level basis.

UM P.Diddy don't you know that GW ain't yo man. Member he doensn't like black people...ringin any bells? And it's like spare us your rambling cuz YOU NEVER MAKE ANY SENSE.

Sick, nasty and just plain wrong.

Who has sex with those jack-ass characters? Well Nicole let Steve-O jack off on her back, and Jessica actually let Bam f*** her. Nicole ok I can see what happened...all girls know the feeling of having a boy try to wake you up just so they can mess around...its like SICK..if we wanted to f*** you we would have STAYED AWAKE...and when we pretend to sleep its because it's too embarrasing for us to deal with the situation. But Jessica, WTF were you thinking. I really hope you were just horny cuz he is fucking gross. I mean at least go f*** some pretty boy or something.

From the 'Neck: Um, yeah - Jess should have at least got it on with the party boy! Pontius is WAY hotter than Bam - Bam is just gross!

This picture cracks me up..

Like Justin could do anything. I mean he is all hot and he brought sexy back and all. But comon we all know that he is a total momma's boy and that Cameron is way more buff than him. It's like Justin cool down you look a lot hotter when you are trying to be all sensitive and shit...

Flaunt that shit, Naomi!

OMG I f-ing love this bitch for wearing this t-shirt! The best part is the back - check it...

More on Big Bruiser Naomi here

Keith Richards kicks his drug habit

Keith Richards claims that he doesn't use drugs anymore because they just don't make them strong enough these days to get him high. Um, i'm pretty sure the reason you aren't getting high is because your body has built up such a tolerance to them that even changing your blood a few times a year stopped working. Maybe this is the new way to kick the addiction - do so much that you can no longer get high. try it and let us know how that works...



More on Keith "off the wagon" here

Passing of the Torch..

Little Bindi Irwin spoke at her father's memorial that was televised last night from Queensland Australia. "Using a finger to trace the words she had written, Bindi said whenever she saw a crocodile she would always think of her father." She referred to her dad as, "the greatest daddy in the world...and that above all else he was fun!" This little 8 year old has the strength and compassion of her father. Her grandfather, Bob, predicts that she will be the next Crocodile Hunter. Crocodile Hunter lives!!! Can't wait to see what craziness this fearless girl can offer!! We all know how crazy those Aussie's are, stay tuned!

A new way to enjoy your Coke-caine...

That's right kids, cocaine the drink. The creators of this new energy drink, surprisingly from Vegas, maintain that it is as close to the real thing as you can get. They have even gone so far as to add a numbing agent to the drink so that you get the same feeling in your throat as you do from snorting lines. Um, did i miss something here? will it also eat away my nasal septum the more i do, i mean drink it? Cool!

more on this new way for total losers to act like they do coke here

Let hope the kid looks like Daddy...

MTV VJ La La is expecting her first spawn with fiancee Carmelo Anthony. They plan on getting married shortly after the birth. God I hope that she wears a veil cuz if I saw those fish eyes headin towards me I would be scured.

Ashley Plays Hide N' Seek

As Ashley finished yet another shopping spree, she was forrced to hide behind her $10,000 Hermes Birkin bag while trying to get into her car. We can all tell that her life is SO rough!!! Damn those paparazzi!

Lohan Moving to London?

It has been rumored that Lady Lohan has put an offer in on a place in the trendy Notting Hill district of London. I guess she is sick of the US? How Madona/Gwyneth Paltrow/Molly Ringwald of her!

PS does she even have any money left?

From the 'Neck - she obviously had enough money left to get a mystic tan on those legs - oompa, loompa, loopi-dee-doo...

Witty Humor of the Day...

This cartoon was published in the 9/25/06 edition of Business Week.

Eminem tries to divorce Kimberly Mathers...AGAIN!

So a judge today felt the need to pass the divorce proceedings for Eminem and wife-again Kimberly Mathers onto a mediator. WTF??? Um, how bout you just process the divorce and go ahead and make it illegal for those dumbasses to ever wed each other again??? Stupid shit...

More on these retards here

Fairy is out - Pitt is in

After "Fairy" Cruise was recently fired from Paramount, there are rumors that Paramount is doing whatever possible to get Brad Pitt to star in the next Mission Impossible:IV movie. Whatever possible means offering Brad enough to make him the highest paid actor EVER!!! Take that fairy! Not only is Brad's bitch hotter, but he is taking your roles and the baby is really his. Sucks for you! But it's ok - Scientology has your back...

More on how bad ass Brad Pitt is compared to Fairy here

Sad Day for Clarett.

For all of you that don't know Maurice Clarett, he is a sad sad story. He was a Ohio State freshman football star, decided that he wanted to enter the draft, dropped out of school, sued NFL, was drafted by the Broncos, never worked out, and was finally cut by the Broncos.
Well the saga continues....Supposedly he is in big trouble with some Mafia Boys. He reportedly took out loans from them and promised his future NFL salary to repay his debts. That is only the beginning of his current affairs. Last month he was involved in a police chase down the highway and they finally stopped him by spiking the tires of his SUV. After removing Clarett from the vehicle(he was wearing a bullet proof vest), police found 4 loaded guns.

He has been sentenced to prison for about 7 years with the possibility of being released in 3.5 years. During the sentencing his mother, newborn baby, and girlfriend sat in the front row looking at him as the judge read out his order.

This is probably the BEST thing to happen to him. Maybe he will get his life together, kick the drugs, find God, and be a father. Its like why are people so stupid? He had everything poor thing.

Willie Nelson busted!!!

Some asshole cops pulled Willie Nelson's tour bus over and guess what they found. That's right - I know it's hard to figure out - but believe it or not they found weed. 1 1/2 pounds of it! and...shrooms. Now that is an old man that knows how to party - how do i get on that tour bus??? Seriously - how???

More on his arrest here

True West Hollywood Stories - Tom Fairy Cruise

Ok so I finally read the "Vanity Fair" article on Suri Cruise. First off it was only about 2 pages long, and anyone who reads the mag knows that is relatively short. Also it was BORING and stupid (aren't I so articulate!) According to Jane Sarkin (the author) everything is peachy keen over there in Cruise Land. Sarkin paints a picture of typical family life..well if typical is having your own 400-acre retreat with resort style home in Telluride, Colorado.
So bored as I was with this article and its lack of authenticity I decided to focus on a more accurate portrayal of Tom "Fairy" Cruise.
In the article about the Cruise Backlash, Phil Maggitti focuses on the Tom Cruise that WE all see and endure on a daily basis. This article is based on the shit that he has done lately and the crap that has come out of the Fairy's mouth.
Fairy has sunk so low that the only people willing to defend his honor are the Scientologists. Maggitti quotes, "When Kirstie Alley said "Tom does everything 150 per cent, and fatherhood he does 300 per cent," one wag commented, "The only thing Tom does 300% is Rob Thomas.")

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH....Rob Thomas!!!...Now this is an article that I can thoroughly enjoy! PS.. You know Rob loves this really macho pic of Fairy!!

GO DUCKS!!!!!

For all of you that matter the Ducks freakin kicked ass this weekend!!! First time we beat Oklahoma in the seven times we have met!!! Damn I miss college!

Something to keep you busy this week...

Please - help Mel get home with as many tequila bottles as possible!!! hahahaha, thanks Heats for helping us all get our work done this week...

More jackass...

In case you aren't pumped enough for Jackass 2 - here is a clip from the movie titled "Firehose Rodeo"...enjoy!

Jackass: Number Two - Firehose Rodeo

Boobs Friday - Vintage Nicole Ritchie

Before Nicole was uber-famous and uber-anorexic...she was a little SLUTTY!! We love it!! Nicole was workin her shit on the runway and decided that the crowd needed a little more excitment!! And without much more ado....here is your Friday Boobies!!!

Who Would You Rather BONE...body parts edition

ok ok i know this is just mean...but saying that i just couldn't help myself...

Would you rather this ribcage....






Or would you rather this chest hair.....

Jackass #2 - Bring it!

Jackass 2 Trailer



Get ready kids! Jackass #2 is in theaters next week. I can't wait to be absolutely disgusted and repulsed all over again!!!

I dont know which is worse...

seeing LLo's crotch or seeing Kate Bosworth's nasty ribcage. WTF is wrong with this girl, she needs some serious nourishment. She looks like an old hag at 23. I want to be skinny as much as the next girl but this pic makes me scurred. I'm eating a burger right now for poor Kate...RIP KB.

PS...You are only young once, please don't ruin it by downing adderol and counting calories.

TONY STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!!!!!!!

The rumor mill is spinning out that Eva Longwhoria and Tony Parker were actually married this last week-end. This could all be a big ole lie..but please Tony don't do it. You are young and talented don't get sucked into the used up old ho....Well if we can't convince you at least get a pre-nup...We are only looking out for you!

Whit & Bobby take a break

Whitney filed for a legal separation from Bobby last Friday in Orange County. Um, was anyone aware that you had to file papers to be separated??? Crazy!

Well, hopefully this means Whit has finally kicked the crack along with the man and can be our favorite pop star diva again. We can only hope...

More on Whit and Bobby's breakup here

Look Who's Back

Whitney Houston stunned guests at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on Tuesday when she made a surprise appearance at the "The Society of Singers Presents the 15th Annual Ella Award to Johnny Mathis" tribute.

Whitney was joined by, Clive Davis, and her aunt, Dionne Warwick. Houston looked pretty good, so lets hope she can keep it up.


Get your party on, Whitney!

Beckham = hot for David, NOT for Victoria

Supposedly most top labels are taking their discounts and free clothes away from Victoria Beckham. She has suddenly taken on the role of making whatever she wears "NOT HOT". From the mouth of a PR woman at one of these labels while flipping through the tabloids, "Just checking the dreaded VB hasn't managed to get hold of any of our clothes." Wow! Imagine people wanting to make sure you are NOT wearing their clothes - ouch. Low blow for the self proclaimed girl next door with a sense of style...

More on VB being boycotted here

10 years without Tupac

A headline today made me remember that today is the 10 year anni of Tupac's death. The headline reads: "Why is Tupac so beloved?" Um, I think the pic above answers it all - cuz he's HAWT!!! We miss you Tupac.

More on the anni of his passing here

Are you fucking kidding me????

OMG - why did I not think of something this insanely stupid to make money? I know! Let's get pogo sticks and have people jump around on them and pay us for it! Now, if only I had ever figured out how to jump on those damn things when I was 10...

Hoopnotica



Learn how to join Hoopnotica here

So Freakin Cute!!!!!

Especially love little brown and asian babies...Please look at Maddox and his little cute friend playing soccer...I just want to pinch the little green boy's cheeks....But seriously tho why is Maddox the little asian Becks..way to rock that mullet..

London all call for short actors with hairy feet!!!

London is looking for actors to play in their musical version of "Lord of the Rings." If you know anyone out there, please let them know they could be the next Hobbit that London is looking for!



How to submit yourself for this fabulous job here

Jane Fonda on "nurturing" Llo

Here's what Fonda had to say in an interview with Access Hollywood recently regarding Lindsay Lohan: "I think every once in a while, a very, very young person who is burning both ends of the candle needs to have somebody say, `You know, you're going to pay the piper, you better slow down." "Pay the piper???", geez - I'm really glad someone finally said that to Lindsay - she'll totally learn her lesson now...



More on this washed up bird here

Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild faces the judge

The Girls Gone Wild head "boob" pleaded guilty to not obtaining the needed documentation of girls in his video to prove they were "of age" and is made to pay $2.1 million in fines, $500k coming out of his own pocket. I'm sure this isn't the first time he has failed to prove checking for age requirements, but is probably the most he has ever paid for some action. All I have to say is, OF COURSE!!!

More on this story here

House of Carters on the Insider

Uuummm, who gives a shit about these kids? Oh, and watch the split Aaron does jumping into the pool - do we see another gay controversy in Nick's life????

Fab Three agree: This show is gonna suck it big time!

Great another Federline in this world...

Britney gave birth to a boy this morning..Let us hope that since it's a boy that they won't name it that hideous name that Britney invented...NOW IT'S TIME TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT BRITNEY, DITCH YOUR LOSER HUSBAND, AND PUT OUT A RECORD THAT WILL MAKE XTINA SHAKE IN HER BOOTS!!!

Well I guess there is always hope.

The Mouth of a Hoover

How come Tom can never close his mouth??? He looks like he would give good head!!!

He might want to invest in teeth whitening, just a suggestion! He is such a cheese dick.

Hasta la vista, Eva!

Eva Longoria recently told the media that after Desperate Housewives runs its course, she is done with television gigs. Thank God!!! I'm tired of seeing this bitch everywhere I turn. I am pretty sure she will not make it as a movie actress, so am very much looking forward to the end of the Eva era....

More on Eva's peace out to TV here

MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is a real pic of Linds Lohan wilted flower...well at least I think this shot is more believable than the last pic we saw of her ill na na. Like seriously you are not Paris...cover those walrus lips up already...They look all beat up..

From the 'Neck: Um, when is Rachel Zoe going to start making her girls wear panties - come on already!!! Maybe she is trying to start a new trend...

Lil Rudy is all over the Crem'es

Looks like Ms. Rudy from the Cosby Show loves her blow!!!! According to a source at her University, she was part of an elite group of privileged girls who used the cremes recreationally...well and to stay super thin!! How surprising...a rich girl does blow...oh wait maybe not...

Better keep that nose clean Rudy...Best believe that everyone will be looking up your nostrils now!

Another horrible news caster moment

One of our fans sent us this news clip to follow up the "roach clip". Can this fucker read? Like, isn't that a requirement to be a sports news caster???

If not, sign me up! I can read a little better than that and look a hell of a lot better!
Worst Sports News Caster

Duh Factor for Monday...

Posh stated the following about her husband David Beckham in a recent interview, "'Oh David, he's so good looking and so sexy', whereas I'm 'funny'. I don't want to be 'funny'. What do I have to do to be seen as sexy too?!"

FUNNY???? Who thinks that bitch is funny? I have some better words to desribe you:
anorexic, desperate, sickly, and LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One word for me = Jealous.